Published October 24, 2009
This poems getting published in a book! Hope you like it as much as the judges did!
I thought you were with me; you disappeared without a trace,
I thought you were reliable; you weren't there on the second date,
The third and fourth? They just weren't there,
Thought it was you and me,
But this is not fair!
I told my best friend what thoughts were in my head,
Turns out, when you weren't with me,
You were with her instead.
We are SO not friends no more,
My best friend is my blog,
Go on, how many more of my best friends you gonna snog?
Yeah, go on, you better hide,
I can't believe I fell,
For that really obvious,
Text book love spell.
But now, you've got nothing,
Those girls got bored and left,
Later you gt arrested for another heart theft.
Meanwhile, I've found Mr Right,
And we're in love so strong,
We sit and talk and laugh at you,
We call you Mr Wrong.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,703 Literary Works • 673,672 Reviews
hey hannah great poem now i can see why they published it! not much more i can say really but i have to write 50 words but i really cant be bothered - oh well at least thats another 10 or more! let me know of any other posts i can comment on and ummm..... oh yh can u comment on please!! if you havnt already i dont know because i havent checke - do you think thats fifty yet oh well it better be because im off- great work! x
lol way cool....thanx
Cool! What book?
Anyways, great work, the last stanza was, by far, the best, seeing as how the rest of the poem didn't seem to match up to an meter I know. But you could be marching to your own meter if you want.
'There' is used twice; a repetitive word can easily lose the reader's interest.
Snog? is that a real word?
Um, I've never heard of a 'text book love spell', but, once again, your poem, not mine.
Good work! I'd like to see that book!